Quotes by Cynthia Hand

And,” Kay adds as her final touch, “Christian Prescott is my boyfriend.”I dislike her already.

As a serf, poor Christian has already been killed several times in our class. Aside from dying of the Black Plague on the first day, he’s starved to death, had his hands cut off for stealing a loaf of bread, and been run down by his master’s horse just for kicks. He’s like Christian the fifth now.

Once again, my hero. And here I’m supposed to be the one saving him.

So whats the big emergency? Jeffrey says. He jogs down the aisle of the Pink Garter toward where Christian and I are sitting, waiting for Angela, who uncharacteristically late. I thought we werent going to meet this week because we like, you know, spent all weekend together. Im kind of sick of you people.Glad to see that you decided to grace us with your presence, anyway, Christian says.

I’ve learned that sometimes, when you’re afraid but you keep on moving forward, that’s the biggest kind of courage there is.

Its just high school, man. Those guys are just high school guys, and in ten years theyre going to be working for people like me. I know that. I just have to make it through two more years.

Is this my purpose?The clouds dont have a lot of answers.

This is the part where I kiss you.

Where are you? I wheeze into the floor. Where did you go?

Its funny how sometimes you dont see the obvious things coming. You think you know what life has in store for you. You think youre prepared. You think you can handle it. And then-boom, like a thunderclap-something comes at you out of nowhere and catches you off guard.

Everybody dies, and everybody loses people they love-everybody-and that is not an excuse for you to fucking die. I love you, and I need you to be my mother, and I need you to have a life. So get over yourself.

Insert the biggest, most awkward silence in the history of big awkward silences. I stare at him. Im suddenly exhausted by all the lies Ive told him. Hes my friend, and I lie to him every day. He deserves better. I wish I could tell him then, more than anything Ive ever wanted. I wish I could stand in front of him and truly be myself and tell him everything. But its against the rules.

Another silence for the record books. Then he sighs.I know. Its crazy. I feel like -- He stops himself. He suddenly looks so miserable that my heart aches for him.I hate my life.

I understand now that nobody could have saved Ty but Ty. There’s no one else to blame. Not you. Not me. Ty was holding all the cards.

Its your mind you have to train, like your mom said that one time, you have to separate yourself from all the crap, get down to the core, focus.

But my anger was a slippery thing, like a fish I was trying to keep hold of, and it wiggled out of my grasp.

Dad scowls. Phen. He says the name like its a swear word. Disgusting, cowardly creatures, the ambivalent. Worse than the fallen, in many ways. His eyes are so fierce its a tad scary. They have no conviction at all.

It like he has the ability to take on some of my pain. I feel so much better around him. Stronger. And he is willing to take my pain. He wants to bear it with me. I can see it shining in his eyes. Im more than a duty to him. Im more than his literal dream girl. Im so much more.

What purpose will your death serve?It will serve to prove that you do not control this kingdom. It will serve to prove that not everyone will bow down to you. You think to rule us with fear, but you cannot. I will never renounce my beliefs, or my husband.

I cant leave you, he says hoarsely.I cant leave you either, I say, shaking my head. I cant.Then dont, he says, and grabs me behind the neck and kisses me again, and the world is tilting, and everything goes black.