Quotes by Courtney Summers

The sooner you make a mistake and learn to live with it, the better. Youre not responsible for everything. You cant control the way things end up.

Because you made it here on a lot less he says and he has no idea how on the mark he is.

Whatevers between us is that kind of new.

I hate that Im so numb and empty and disconnected from most of these people but even I can see worth in stupid little moments like these. These people arent even my family, but I can see their value and if I can see it in something this small, when I feel this bad, then---Then why didnt he?

My hands are dying.

I hope I’m the ghost that belongs to her.

I am so sad. I am so sad it makes me heavier than the sum of my parts. I shift, restless, but it doesn’t help. It’s like—time. All this time in here is on me, has its hooks in me. Maybe if I sleep more, I’ll wake up and I’ll feel different, but I can’t. The storm is really happening now and it makes the room feel emptier. Makes me feel emptier.

I thought it could be something, I mean, eventually. Harrison finally looks at us. My life I thought-but I mean... its nothing.Dont cry Grace says. You have a lot of time.No, I dont.Yeah, you do.No.-Yeah! Yeah, you do. Its okay. Look-She does something that is so amazingly selfless and also gross. She tilts Harrisons face up and gives him a sweet kiss on the lips and it lasts long enough for him to taste her back, to move his mouth against hers.Harrison stares at her dumbfounded but hes stopped cryingShe is so nice.

Theres always this one girl. Shes desperate and shes weird and shes jealous, and youre stuck with her, no matter how hard you try to get her off your back. Just throw some really fucked-up self-esteem issues into the mix and you have Kara.

I wish I could break this window. Step through it. But I cant break this window. I cant even find some less dramatic way to die inside of this school, like hanging myself or slitting my wrists, because what would they do with my body? It might put everyone at risk. I wont let myself do that.Im not selfish like Lily.I hate her. I hate her so much my heart tries to crawl out of my throat but it gets stuck there and beats crazily in the too narrow space. I bring my hands to my neck and try to massage it back down. I pres so heard against the skin, my eyes sting, and then Im hurrying back down the stairs, back to the first floor. I think of Trace running laps, something he can control.

Behind the building was a field and when the potpourri scent of her cleaner made me sneeze, I went outside. There were calves there, these sweet things that watched me with less interest than I watched them. There was this raggedy one, sitting in the middle of the field, its mother nearby. I didn’t realize it was sick until it tried to get up and it couldn’t. It kept trying and it couldn’t and then, eventually—it didn’t. After a while, a truck drove in. A man and a boy got out, looked it over while its mother stood close. It was dead, the calf. Dead and too heavy to load into the truck bed, so they tied a rope around its neck, tied the other end to the truck and dragged it off the field like that. Its mother watched until it disappeared and when it was out of view, she called for it. Just kept calling for it so long after it was gone. Sometimes I feel something like that, between my mom and me. That I’m the daughter she keeps calling for so long after she’s been gone.

I’m sorry,” he tells me.I sit down on the bed. He returns to the view of the street below. I follow his gaze and I see the infected walking slowly back and forth.“It’s okay,” I say.“Okay,” he says. He nods. “Good.”He puts the gun under his chin and pulls the trigger.

I will see my father in every anger.

Its amazing how bad you can make the truth sound. As long as you keep it partially recognizable when you spit it out, a crowd will eat it up without even thinking about how hard you chewed on it first.

She hates her heart, that misguided organ in her chest. Why didnt it warn her?

There is nothing like discovering your own secrets in someone else’s story. Those thoughts and feelings you believed were too ugly or strange or idealistic or desperate or whimsical or hungry or sad they had to be just you because there could be no other place for them, anywhere. Books that make you realize you’re not alone, you never were. Those are the ones I like best.

I elbow my way through the mass of people to get to my locker because theres something immensely satisfying about the toughest part of my arm connecting with the softest part of everyone else.

Her eyes widen and she shoves me back and then theres a space between us, enough to paralyze me with all of the things I could do to her next. I could raise my hand and hit her in the face or bring my knee into her stomach, take a fistful of her hair and rip it out of her skull. You dont get to do this when youre a girl, so when the opportunity for violence finally presents itself, I want all of it at once.

I think youre crazy good at this survival stuff, Cary.His shoulders sag. He gives me a small, relieved smile and we start walking again, his step a little lighter than it was before. It feels strange to have that kind of power over someone.I mean, youre crazy good at it for a stoner who couldnt seem to get his shit together academically at all, I add.

Its okay, we can go back from this. It comes out of his mouth so kind - he means it - and it just makes me feel worse. That he can kiss me like this and change everything, but still promise me nothing has to change because I cant promise him anything.