My eyes trail from his hand to the tattoo written in small script across his forearm. Hopeless
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I love how you arent weird and awkward, despite the fact that youve been severely cut off from socialization to the point where you make the Amish look trendy.
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You have a nice mouth, he says. I cant stop looking at it.You should taste it. Its quite lovely.
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I live you, I whisper to him. He kisses my head again and signs into my hair. I dont think I live you back anymore. Im pretty sure Ive moved beyond that. Actually, Im positive Ive moved beyond that, but Im still not ready to say it to you. When I say it, I want it to be separate from this day. I dont want you to remember it like this.
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I pull his mouth to mine and I kiss him. I kiss him for always having the perfect thing to say. I kiss him for always being there for me. I kiss him for supporting whatever decision I think I might need to make. I kiss him for being so patient with me while I figure everything out. I kiss him because I can’t think of anything better than climbing back inside that car with him and talking about everything we’ll do when we get to Hawaii. - Sky
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Its amazing what the sound of a voice youve been longing to hear can do to your heart. He spoke five words just now, but in the time it took him to speak those five words, my heart was shredded and minced, then placed back inside my chest with the expectation that it should somehow know how to beat again.
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Feel free to look around, but being as though there arent any people eighteen or older here, stay off the bed. Im not allowed to get pregnant this weekend.
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It’s killing me, baby,” he says, his voice much more calm and quiet. “It’s killing me because I don’t want you to go another day without knowing how I feel about you. And I’m not ready to tell you I’m in love with you, because I’m not. Not yet. But whatever this is I’m feeling—it’s so much more than just like. It’s so much more. And for the past few weeks I’ve been trying to figure it out. I’ve been trying to figure out why there isn’t some other word to describe it. I want to tell you exactly how I feel but there isn’t a single goddamned word in the entire dictionary that can describe this point between liking you and loving you, but I need that word. I need it because I need you to hear me say it.
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Whatever connection we thought we had before this...it doesnt compare to this moment. No matter what happens between us in life, this moment has just merged pieces of our souls together. Well always have that, and in a way its comforting to know.
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I think Id rather be heading to detention right now than to talk to him. My stomach is tied up in so many knots it could make a boy scout envious.
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My locker seems to have become the hub for sticky notes and nasty letters, none of which I ever see actually being placed on or in my locker. I really don’t get what people gain out of doing things like this if they don’t even own up to it.Like the note that was stuck to my locker this morning. All it said was, “Whore.”Really? Where’s the creativity in that? They couldn’t back it up with an interesting story? Maybe a few details of my indiscretion? If I have to read this shit every day, the least they could do is make it interesting. If I was going to stoop so low as to leave an unfounded note on someone’s locker,I’d at least have the courtesy of entertaining whoever reads it in the process. I’d write something interesting like, “I saw you in bed with my boyfriend last night. I really don’t appreciate you getting massage oil on my cucumbers. Whore.” I laugh and it feels odd, laughing out loud at my own thoughts. I look around and no one is left in the hallway but me. Rather than rip the sticky notes off of my locker like I probably should, I take out my pen and make them a little more creative. You’re welcome, passersby.
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Karen shuts the back door and turns to me. “You know I trust you, but please…”“Don’t get pregnant,” I interrupt. “I know, I know. You’ve been saying that every time you leave for the past two years. I’m not getting pregnant, Mom. Only terribly high and cracked out.”She laughs and hugs me. “Good girl. And wasted. Don’t forget to get really wasted.
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I cant help but watch his lips as they cover the opening of the bottle that my lips were just touching. Were practically kissing.
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Does not-your boyfriend realize Im Mormon?I nod. It turns out, Holder doesnt have an issue with Mormons at all. He just has an issue with assholes.
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Its crap that youre letting on bad year determine your fate for the rest of your life.
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Never judge others. You both know good and well how unexpected events can change who a person is. Always keep that in mind. You never know what someone else is experiencing within their own life.
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Maybe I’m not the hero to her Ive always tried so hard to be, because right now, I feel as if she doesnt even need a hero. Why would she? She has someone so much stronger than I’ll ever be for her. She has herself.
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Ive done nothing for the past five years but try to be the hero who protects her. The problem? Heroines dont need protecting.
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God Layken. How do you do it? she says. How do I do what? I sniff as I continue to wipe the tears from my eyes. How do you not fall in love with him? The tears begin flowing just as quickly as they had ceased…..I dont not fall in love with him. I dont not fall in love with him a lot!
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How do you not fall in love with him?The tears begin flowing just as quickly as they were ceasing. I grab yet another tissue. I dont not fall in love with him. I dont not fall in love with him a lot!
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