Quotes by Calvin & Hobbes

“People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they dont realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world.”

“Who was the first guy that look at a cow and said, I think that Ill drink whatever comes out of those things when I squeeze them?”

“- Ive been thinking Hobbes --- On a weekend?- Well, it wasnt on purpose...”

“Careful. We dont want to learn from this.”

“Talking with you is sort of the conversational equivalent of an out of body experience.”

“History is the fiction we invent to persuade ourselves that events are knowable and that life has order and direction.”

“Dad, how do soldiers killing each other solve the worlds problems?”

“Im so ugly - My father carries around a picture of the kid who came with his wallet”

“I cant tell if thats funny or really scary.”

“Well, remember what you said, because in a day or two, Ill have a witty and blistering retort! Youll be devastated THEN!”

“County library? Reference desk, please. Hello? Yes, I need a word definition. Well, thats the problem. I dont know how to spell it and Im not allowed to say it. Could you just rattle off all the swear words you know and Ill stop you when...Hello?”

“-You cant just turn on creativity like a faucet. You have to be in the right mood. -What mood is that? -Last-minute panic.”

“Dont walk away! Im trying to apologize you dumb noodleloaf!”

“Lifes disappointments are harder to take when you dont know any swear words.”

“Girls are like slugs. They serve some purpose but its hard to imagine what.”

“Were so busy watching out for whats just ahead of us that we dont take time to enjoy where we are.”

“Life is like topography, Hobbes. There are summits of happiness and success, flat stretches of boring routine, and valleys of frustration and failure.”

“I wonder if I can grow fangs when my baby teeth fall out.”

“A rival and a lover are often indistinguishable.One builds his life around both, one lives for both, and one is pushed beyond his limits by both.”