Quotes by Amy Poehler

We kept our heads down and did our jobs. We controlled the only thing we could, which was the show. We did the thing. Because remember, the talking about the thing isnt the thing. The doing of the thing is the thing.

I think it’s glorious to be nervous. Being nervous is great! How often do we get nervous on a daily basis? Being slightly nervous means you care, and you’re alive, and you’re taking some kind of risk. Hooray for being nervous! A friend told me to substitute the word ‘excitement’ for ‘nervous’. That way you acknowledge the physical feelings without putting a negative spin on things. So to answer your question, sometimes I still get so excited about ‘Update’ that I want to throw up

I looked around and thought about my life. I felt grateful. I noticed every detail. That is the key to time travel. You can only move if you are actually in the moment. You have to be where you are to get where you need to go.

Is there a word for when you are young and pretending to have lived and loved a thousand lives? Is there a German word for that? Lets say its schaufenfrieglasploit.

Great people do things before they’re ready. They do things before they know they can do it.

I made a decision early on that I would be a plain girl with tons of personality, and accepting it made everything a lot easier. If you are lucky, there is a moment in your life when you have some say as to what your currency is going to be. I decided early on it was not going to be my looks. I have spent a lifetime coming to terms with this idea and I would say I am about 15 to 20 percent there. Which I think is great progress. Decide what your currency is early. Let go of what you will never have. People who do this are happier and sexier.

Authors pretend their stories were always shiny and perfect and just waiting to be written. The truth is, writing is this: hard and boring and occasionally great but usually not. Even I have lied about writing. I have told people that writing this book has been like brushing away dirt from a fossil. What a load of shit. It has been like hacking away at a freezer with a screwdriver.

If you ever want to see heaven, watch a bunch of young girls play. They are all sweat and skinned knees. Energy and open faces.

Calling someone equally as anxious on the phone makes you feel less alone. Sometimes the best thing to hear is not Dont worry, its going to be okay but actually Tell me about it! The whole world is going to explode and I havent slept for weeks. Now let me tell you about my specific fears of small boats and big businesses!

Bedtime is fraught with fear and disappointment. When it is just me alone with my restless body and mind, I feel like the whole world is asleep and gone. Its very lonely. I am tired of being tired and talking about how tired I am.

Ignore what other people think. Most people arent even paying attention to you.

Debbie Downer was one of the few sketches where I broke, and I remember watching Heratio Sanz laugh so hard that tears squirted out of his eyes. I still believe that sketch may be a cure for low-level depression if watched regularly.

You can only move if you are actually in the moment. You have to be where you are to get where you need to go.

Motherhood was a twenty-four-hour-a-day, all-encompassing job. It was the hardest job I ever had. Everything that happened to you [her child] happened to me. I had once heard children described in a novel as hostages to fortune and certainly my happiness depended on yours.

Everyone lies about writing. They lie about how easy it is or how hard it was. They perpetuate a romantic idea that writing is some beautiful experience that takes place in an architectural room filled with leather novels and chai tea.

A person’s tragedy does not make up their entire life. A story carves deep grooves into our brains each time we tell it. But we arent one story. We can change our stories. We can write our own.

THE HOLIDAYS ARE RUINED!This book is one page long and just contains that one sentence.

Looking silly can be very powerful. People who are committing and taking risks become the king and queen of my prom. People are their most beautiful when they are laughing, crying, dancing, playing, telling the truth and being chased in a fun way.

I can party like a twenty-four-year-old but it takes me almost a week to recover.

Treat your career like a bad boyfriend. Heres the thing. Your career wont take care of you. It wont call you back or introduce you to its parents. Your career will openly flirt with other people while you are around. It will forget your birthday and wreck your car. Your career will blow you off if you call it too much. Its never going to leave its wife. Your career is fucking other people and everyone knows but you. Your career will never marry you.