Quotes by Alain de Botton

We could not be fulfilled if we werent inauthentic some of the time—inauthentic, that is, in relation to such things as our passing desires to throttle our children, poison our spouse, or end our marriage over a dispute about changing a lightbulb.

Insofar as we appreciate order, it is when we perceive it as being accompanied by complexity, when we feel that a variety of elements has been brought to order--that windows, doors and other details have been knitted into a scheme that manages to be at once regular and intricate. (p184)

One of the best protections against disappointment is to have a lot going on.

What kills us isnt one big thing, but thousands of tiny obligations we cant turn down for fear of disappointing others.

Being content is perhaps no less easy than playing the violin well: and requires no less practice.

Growth occurs when we discover how to remain authentically ourselves in the presence of potentially threatening things. Maturity is the possession of coping skills: we can take in our stride things that previously would have knocked us off course. We are less fragile, less easily shocked and hence more capable of engaging with situations as they really are

[T]he unsympathetic assessments we make of others are usually the result of nothing more sinister than our habit of looking at them in the wrong way, through lenses clouded by distraction, exhaustion and fear, which blind us to the fact that they are really, despite a thousand differences, just altered versions of ourselves: fellow fragile, uncertain, flawed beings likewise craving love and in urgent need of forgiveness.

To grow interested in any piece of information, we need somewhere to put it, which means some way of connecting it to an issue we already now how to care about.

What we colloquially call feeling bored is just the mind, acting out of a self-preserving reflex, ejecting information it has despaired of knowing where to place.

Marriage: a deeply peculiar and ultimately unkind thing to inflict on anyone one claims to care for.

Politics is so difficult, its generally only people who arent quite up to the task who feel convinced they are.

When we suspect that we are appropriate targets for hurt, it does not take much for us to believe that someone or something is out to hurt us

There is an easy way to measure our inner levels of abjectness and friendliness to ourselves: we should examine how well we response to noise.

Its very hard to respect people on holiday - everybody looks so silly at the beach, it makes you hate humanity - but when you see people at their work they elicit respect, whether its a mechanic, a stonemason or an accountant.

Katie Price is no exception. She, too, is - in a distinctive way - a philosopher. Partially, Katie Prices philosophy is one of extraordinary confidence. She is remarkable not for her looks or antics but because of her tremendous self-assurance and her unwillingness to be intimidated by criticism or failure.

The thing is that love gives us a ringside seat on somebody elses flaws, so of course youre gonna spot some things that kinda need to be mentioned. But often the romantic view is to say, If you loved me, you wouldnt criticise me. Actually, true love is often about trying to teach someone how to be the best version of themselves.

I feel that the great challenge of our time is the communication of ideas.

On paper, being good sounds great but a lot depends on the atmosphere of the workplace or community we live in. We tend to become good or bad depending on the cues sent out within a particular space.

A city like London is sociable in a sense that there are people gathering in bars and restaurants, concerts and lectures. Yet you can partake of all these experiences and never say hello to anyone new. And one of the things that all religions do is take groups of strangers into a space and say it is OK to talk to each other.

Learning to give up on perfection may be just about the most romantic move any of us could make.