Believe me, Dirk; I've been in this game a long time and I know what I'm talking about. I've seen it all; wife swapping during a coach tour of Norfolk churches, orgies at a pensioners' whist drive in Somerset; a mystery weekend where the real mystery turned out to be, what was Mr Preston doing hanging upside down in the wardrobe with an apple in his mouth.

Whatever the source of emotion that drives me to create, I want to give it a form which has some connection with the visible world, even if it is only to wage war on that world....I want my paintings to be able to defend themselves to resist the invader, just as though there were razor blades on all surfaces so no one could touch them without cutting his hands.

Beauty is an illusion, created by Mother Nature to drive the human species in the path of reproduction. In reality, beauty is irrelevant to human life, especially in a relationship. What you today perceive as beautiful and special, over time, becomes not so special. That’s how the human brain works. It is not beauty that keeps a relationship alive, it is attachment. Without attachment, a naked body is merely a lifeless sex toy.

“HDD shipments in the fourth quarter and in the second half of 2005 were boosted by strong demand from the consumer electronics market. Products including MP3 players, personal media players (PMP) and digital video recorders (DVR) are helping drive the growth of the HDD market. Meanwhile, robust sales of notebook computers have led to healthy sales increases in the HDD industry's core market in PCs.”

“The ability to infuse contact centers with a new depth of customer knowledge that makes each interaction as meaningful and productive as possible is a powerful tool for driving competitive advantage, ... The Nortel and Witness Systems relationship delivers greater choice for our customers, allowing them to deploy multimedia, SIP-based contact center capabilities regardless of whether they have deployed an IP, traditional telephony or hybrid infrastructure.”

“The ability to infuse contact centers with a new depth of customer knowledge that makes each interaction as meaningful and productive as possible is a powerful tool for driving competitive advantage. The Nortel and Witness Systems relationship delivers greater choice for our customers, allowing them to deploy multimedia, SIP-based contact center capabilities regardless of whether they have deployed an IP, traditional telephony or hybrid infrastructure.”

As I drive home, I picture other signs- one for everyone who has a secret. Bill Corso's would say, I CAN'T READ, BUT I CAN THROW A FOOTBALL. Mr. Shunk's would read, I WISH I COULD TOSS YOU ALL ON AN ISLAND BY YOURSELVES. Dad's would read, I HATE MYSELF FOR NO GOOD REASON.My Idea grows.

Was I bitter? Absolutely. Hurt? You bet your sweet ass I was hurt. Who doesn't feel a part of their heart break at rejection. You ask yourself every question you can think of, what, why, how come, and then your sadness turns to anger. That's my favorite part. It drives me, feeds me, and makes one hell of a story.

Sometimes a goal in life we are striving for may seem dim or unreachable. Direction has suddenly changed so fast we’re left with aimless thoughts and confusion. Don’t be troubled! You’ve proved to yourself you have the drive. Your new direction will come with patience. Each of us need time to rest our heart and mind before we reach the next mountain.

The ability to experience bliss requires the gift of attentive awareness, curiosity, and constant learning. We are ultimately the product of what we want – our personal obsessions – and how we think. Thoughts merge into feelings that determine if we are happy or sad. Feelings can manifest into thoughts that drive our ambitions and guide our personal actions, which enable us to live an intensified life.