“Time is such a funny thing; one minute it's forever & the next, it's gone.”

“The funny thing about destiny is that you can't predict it, and you can't prevent it.

On 'The Simpsons,' I will say that we definitely like to comment on what's going on in the world, and we try to be funny. If we can figure out a way of being funny about it, then we've gone part of the way of accomplishing our task.

“How do you tell how a man has been funny? How do you do the sound of his voice? The turn of his face? But I will tell you he was as funny as any man I've ever seen.”

My father was a really funny guy. He lived a good long life. And he was the reason I wanted to be funny and become a comedian and a comedy writer, so to say that he's somewhat of a mythic figure in my life would be an understatement.

A funny person is funny only for so long, but a wit can sit down and go on being spellbinding forever. One is not meant to laugh. One stays quiet and marvels. Spontaneously witty talk is without question the most fascinating entertainment there is.

“It was funny when they wanted the life cycle left up there so they would recognize the chrysalis.”

“It's funny to see him running around, passionate about something besides baseball.”

“It's not even funny how much (Ella) is like Ben, ... She's definitely a ham.”

“You can't lead a cavalry if you think that you look funny riding a horse.”